May 03 2006
Four Reasons (and Counting) to Despise Shea Homes
I try as hard as possible to avoid the use of the word hate. I try even harder to control the emotion. Right now, I am having a really hard time controlling my hatred of Shea Homes, and I'm just going to say it. I fucking hate Shea Homes, the liars that they are, and their unethical business practices.
Before Dorrie and I married, Dorrie bought a condo in Highlands Ranch, Colorado. At the time it was a good decision because she wanted to live near her sister (who also lives in Highlands Ranch), the property was a good investment, and it was close to her work. Shea Homes hyped up the place really well — great view, premium lot, little development around the property, yada, yada.
Shea Homes is a bunch of lying, unscrupulous sacks of shit. Here's why:
1) The Lot "Premium"
Dorrie paid a lot of money for this condo. In fact, she paid an additional $5000 for the premium lot which promised a fantastic view of the park and, after the rest of the property was developed, a continued view of downtown. Bullshit. We knew before the place was purchased that the grocery store and adjacent businesses weren't going away, but Shea Homes was quick to promise that "the bank that will be built on the other side of the park will only be one story and you'll still have a view of downtown and the landscape around you." Yeah, right. The "one-story" bank is, technically, one story. Meaning, there is a single story for people to do their business. The actual edifice, however, is a full two stories and the damn clock tower adds an additional story to that. So much for the view. Way to spin it, Shea Homes. You got us on that one.
If you need to know the time, just give me a call. The clock shines through our windows at night. Can't miss it.
2) The "Park"
Ah. The park. Here's what the rest of that $5000 got us. A view of the "park", a tiny patch of concrete with some small trees, sandwiched between the "one-story" bank and the Blockbuster Video. Sure, the park itself is okay, but would you pay $5000 to be near it? Way to spin it Shea Homes. Here's five grand.
3) The "Pub"
When Shea Homes purchased the entire feckin' plot of land that is now known as Highlands Ranch, they must have decided to leave no subplot of land undeveloped. Naturally, one of Dorrie's concerns was what would be developed around the home where we were to live. On the other side of the "just-one-story" bank is a small plot for the new pub. That's right! A fantastic, friendly neighborhood pub within walking distance. Now that's something to be excited about. Well, unless Taco Bell and Long John Silver's starts selling booze, I think our pub is about to be a dream. Yeah. We're about to live next to a couple grease pits. That's certain to help our property value. Chalk another one up for Shea Homes. They have our money. I'm sure it doesn't really matters to them
4) Shea Homes: "If It's Grass, We Will Pave It. If It's Not Grass, We Still Own It and Stay the Fuck Out."
Developers can't help paving everything they can get their hands on and then selling it. I moved away from Dallas, Texas because of it. I thought that developers in Colorado were much more conscientious about that sort of thing, and I still think, for the most part, that is true. Shea Homes is the exception. And, if they don't pave it, they'll assemble a barbed wire fence around it, stick a big sign with their logo in front of it and threaten the most severe legal consequences for touching any of grass, dirt, trees, shrubs, wildlife or insects on the property. I can understand the necessity to maintain the property and prevent some yahoo from four-wheeling through it, but stamping everything with a logo and making fierce threats is a bit much. No points for Shea on this one, but they've proved themselves to be jackasses as much as they are asholes.